


Christmas Wonder

by MournfulSeverity



Series: Winter Wonder [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Christmas Smut, F/M, Family, Family Feels, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, I Wish This Was Canon, Lemon, Love Confessions, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sex, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:15:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21725860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MournfulSeverity/pseuds/MournfulSeverity
Summary: Mistletoe and Christmas trees, kisses stolen beside them, in the dark beneath a snowy sky. These were things that Severus' holidays had never had. This year, Lily insisted on changing that. On giving him all of those and more.
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape
Series: Winter Wonder [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565896
Comments: 11
Kudos: 34
Collections: Fanfiction Writers United 2019 Smutmas Collection





	1. Winter White

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [phoenixreal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixreal/pseuds/phoenixreal) in the [FWU_2019_Smutmas_Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FWU_2019_Smutmas_Collection) collection. 



> Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling
> 
> Smutmas prompt: Silent Night

..

Severus pulled at the white collar around his neck, surely it would suffocate him if he didn't. He was used to the loose cloth of Hogwarts robes, the black billowing around him. This was different, although the suit was loose, the dress shirt beneath felt tight, held too close to his body. And, it was muggle.

He couldn't for the life of him understand why they chose to wear these bloody contraptions. As nice as he may have looked, the tie around his neck felt like more of a noose. He pulled at it again before knocking gently on the pristine, white door in front of him.

It was pulled open, revealing the life inside, the far away chatter, the carrying notes of laughter: the melodic sound of family. And the tall, intimidating frame of a man that could only be Lily's father. Bernard.

He was burly, towering over Severus' own lanky height and was likely twice his width. He could easily snap Severus' spine without even meaning to. Bernard leaned forward and for a flicker of an instant, Severus was afraid of just that.

"Severus." Bernard stepped outwards onto the chipped paint porch beside him rather than inviting him in. "May I?" He gestured to the tie that had so clumsily been put around Severus' neck, that he had already spent an hour fiddling with before giving up entirely.

Severus nodded, one of the many knots inside his stomach unwinding. "Please."

He went rigid beneath the touch of Bernard's fingers, gentle as it was. He carefully undid the crooked and poorly formed silk knot, letting both ends of the tie hang loosely around Severus' neck. Severus watched as the ends were looped over one another, wrapped around, tightened into a windsor that he had been unable to achieve.

"There." Bernard patted him on the shoulder, standing back to admire his work. "It took me some time too, nothing to worry about."

He stepped away, toward the still cracked door as Severus muttered an embarrassed "thank you," his cheeks filling with color.

"Come on, lad. It's cold out. You'll freeze long before that blush goes away."

I'll see Lily another day. He told himself. In private. Without this ridiculous suit.

"Piss or get off the pot, mate." Bernard pressed a hand to his back, urging him forward. "She'll be awfully disappointed if you leave and I'll have to deal with it."

Severus sighed, his fate was sealed, grave marker finished. If he left, Lily would only drag herself down to Spinner's end and embarrass him substantially more than a clumsily put together tie. Kicking the caked snow from his boots, he followed Bernard inside.

"Look at this rabble-rouser I found hanging out on the porch." The man called into the home, disappearing around a corner.

Severus was enveloped with warmth as he shut the door behind himself, invited beyond the entryway by the sound of a crackling fire, the scent of pine and a roast heavy on the air.

He slid his feet from his shoes, leaving them to drip beside the door.

"Sev!" Her voice was the morning song of a little bird, a cardinal that had stayed through the winter, persisting despite the cold.

Her arms were around him almost before he fully straightened. Present in hand, he returned the affection, his own neck nuzzling beside hers, the red strands of her hair tickling at his frozen skin. He breathed in the scent of her, cinnamon and freshly baked pie. Home. Her arms around him loosened and he clung closer just a second more, not ready for it to end.

"You came." She smiled, her face still only inches from his. He was tempted, so tempted to lean in just a little closer and feel his lips against hers. The thestrals in his stomach begged him to.

"Of course I did." He responded when he could hear over the sound of his own thumping heart again. "Why wouldn't I?" He chose to forget the fact that he had nearly left only minutes before.

Lily pulled back further, looking up at him through her lashes, a look that meant they both knew his words were a lie.

She tugged on his hand, leading him further into the house, dragging him like a resistant puppy afraid of his leash. Further, into the incandescent glow of fire, onto the soft carpet and past welcoming furniture. It was so unlike that of his own home. He felt dirty here, unwelcome. Not enough, despite the smiling faces looking back at him.

He'd shed his skin, adorning one that wasn't truly him. A suit much too fancy for the occasion and loose around his frame, a tie that he hadn't even known how to wear properly. This mask was worn only for her family. For a desire to not look like he had crawled straight from a box marked "donations."

It was different from what lay in front of him, decor that seemed to have fallen directly from a magazine, clothing that seemed impervious to wrinkles, hair pinned into place. Even Bernard's beard had been groomed.

The gentle squeeze of his fingers reminded Severus that Lily could see right through him, his emotions billowing into words, pressed against the glass of his skin where she could read it all, despite his embarrassment.

"You've met Dad, and Tuney of course. This is Mum, Marjorie." Lily held her hand out in front of her, gesturing to each of them as she spoke as if Severus couldn't have possibly figured out who was who on his own.

"Mrs. Evans." His throat was dry and he tried to remember just when he had swallowed a handful of chalk. It seemed to coat his mouth, drying every drop of spit and turning his words into a harsh whisper. "You have a lovely home."

"Thank you, and it's Margie, dear." She grinned, the smile lines etched in her cheeks deepening, her brilliant white teeth shining from behind crimson lips. "You can put that over there, by the others." She gestured towards a particularly large Christmas tree filling the corner beside the fireplace.

It must have been twice as tall as him, the limbs stretching up and outwards beyond his reach. How they had chopped it, let alone brought it through the front door, Severus could only imagine.

It was dressed in twinkling yellow lights and an array of Christmas-colored ornaments. It was better than his own at home, considering they didn't have one at all, much less presents sitting beneath it. His gift, wrapped in newspaper sat beside others dressed in gold and red wrappings. A testament, yet again, to how much he didn't belong.

Severus felt the gentle caress of fingers pressing into his spine, the suggestion that someone was there. He straightened, facing Lily, finding the two of them alone. The noise of the family drifted through an archway through which he could see the kitchen.

"How was your Christmas?" Her voice was soft, blooming with worry as if she had been afraid to ask the question, was perhaps afraid of the answer.

He lifted a shoulder in response. "Fine, it was fine." It was the truth. The day having proved uneventful, no different than the previous years. Like any other day. It had never been a special occasion, not like — it seemed — here. Here, the house had been taken over by holly and mistletoe, hidden beneath wreaths and decorations. Dressed so heavenly in holiday that he thought it may be a little bare without it. This night spent beside her could transform this day into either the best or the worst he had experienced, depending on how he played his cards.

"You look…" Her voice trailed as she examined him, perhaps searching for the word that accurately described the horror before her.

Like a stick dressed in a trash bag. He finished for her. Nothing compared to the radiance that stood across from him in a dress he couldn't focus too much on, should he invite another, rather unwelcome guest to the party.

Her fingers reached out, brushing against the green of his tie, the checks that were just a shade darker. How he wished they were standing under a sprig of mistletoe in that moment.

"Nice." She finished, finally, the inflection in her voice dictating that it was more than a compliment.

Severus found his fingers on her, brushing back a ruddy strand of hair and hooking it behind her ear. His eyes followed the trail of freckles on her cheeks, running over the bridge of her nose. "You too."

You too. He was a bloody idiot. She had offered up the chance for him to tell her just how gorgeous she was and all he could muster was you too. Why did his mind get so insufferably numb with her around? With such eyes staring back at him, he was incapable of stringing words together to form an incoherent thought, transforming instead into a bumbling idiot. If she were to snog him, he was sure his mind might explode entirely. He could see it now, his body laid out for all to see, an example of infatuation and why such irresponsible feelings should be avoided.

"Dinner's ready!" It was the happy trill of Mrs. Evans' voice. Call me Margie. He simply couldn't. And now, he thanked her for the interruption, snatching away any chance he had to embarrass himself further. The shovel with which he'd begun to dig his own grave laid to wait just a bit longer. He was sure he would need it again tonight.

Though he could have guessed the way, he followed Lily. Slunk after her like a shadow she couldn't rid herself of, even in the dark. His steps falling in her footfalls. She didn't seem to mind.

The oven was opened, the ever inviting, savory scent of beef drifting from it. His mouth watered and he was nearly afraid to open it should a waterfall of drool cascade down himself. He'd never be able to show his face here again. He might have to flee town entirely.

Severus swallowed, opening his mouth when he was sure his salivary glands were under control, that they wouldn't betray him. "It smells delicious, Mrs…" A pause, a flutter of mortification, another swallow. "Margie."

"Oh, no." She waved a hand in nonchalance, passing off his comment. "It was mostly Lily. She insisted on a roast this year. Why, I'm not sure."

He looked towards Lily, where she already sat behind the table. Her face was kept purposefully away from his, studying the wood in front of her as though she had never seen it before. Just beneath the curtain of red hair that had fallen to the side of her face, Severus could see that her cheeks were nearly the same color. "I'm sure it'll be great."

He hesitated, unsure where to sit, though he knew where he wanted to. Bernard tucked himself in at the head, Marjorie beside him. That left only Petunia who glared at him with an all too familiar sneer stretched across her face. A vindictiveness he knew could mean she stole the spot he really wanted. The only spot he wanted at the table. Beside Lily. He slid out the chair, easing himself into it with a hint of worry. Worry that they may tell him he wasn't allowed there.

As his full weight settled into the chair, he was met with only silence, not the objections he had so irrationally feared. He relaxed, eyes settling on the meal spread out across the table. A large dish sat in the center, the roast inside it surrounded by potatoes, carrots, bits of onion. A loaf of freshly baked bread and a bottle of wine sat beside it. The river behind his lips returned.

With a desire to draw the whole thing towards him, to not even share with Lily, he waited. Not entirely patiently. How he did love a roast. And Lily, it seemed, knew that.

"I think it's only fair that our guest gets first pickings." Bernard smiled and Severus was grateful that the bear of a man was filled with only genuine kindness, a warmth his own father not only lacked, but hated.

The prickle in his cheeks that had arrived more times than he could count in the few minutes he had been there, returned. The rush of blood apparent on his paperwhite, sun-lacking flesh. With four pairs of eyes on him, he filled his plate — if such a word could be used.

A scoff came from the end of the table. "It's no wonder you're so thin, son. You can't have meat on your bones if you don't eat it." Bernard turned towards Lily, his voice light with laughter. "Help him, would you?"

Lily looked at him with eyebrows drawn inward, an apology held in the black of her irises, but she did as she was told, adding a helping more to his plate before she moved to her own.

Severus stared down at his plate. What had once been white and blue was now buried beneath earthy tones, the food nearly flowing from it. Much more than his stomach could contain. He felt an internal battle building inside him once more, to finish or not to finish. Which would bring him fewer comments? Less embarrassment? But, not burden him with pain? It was the hardest decision he'd been faced with that evening. Harder even than if he should enter this household to begin with. There it was again, the desire to flee like a hunted rabbit. To hide beneath the underbrush where he couldn't be seen.

He stabbed his fork into the food, filling it with a bite and drawing it to his mouth. It was heavenly, tearing apart easily between his teeth, the taste of herbs gentle on his underused palate.

It was then, of course, when his mouth was full, that a question was asked.

"Tell us about yourself, Severus. Lily here seems incapable of it."

"Oh, no." Marjorie began before he could answer. "We couldn't get her to shut her yap the first few years. Now it's quite the opposite."

Severus nearly choked, even the food inside his mouth was surprised. When he was sure he wasn't going to die, that the food had entered his stomach rather than his lungs, he spoke. "There isn't really much." He couldn't help the mumble that fell from his lips. Had he left his voice home? He had certainly struggled to find it.

"Well." Bernard spoke between bites. "What do your parents do?"

He had done it. He had asked what was quite likely the worst question in existence. "Erm, Mum was a potionneer. Tobias…" Is a lazy, good for nothing arsehole. "...is in between jobs at the moment." As he had been for nearly as long as Severus could remember. He seemed to be between jobs more often than he was inside of them.

"Tobias? That's your father?"

The food in his stomach was beginning to form into a rock, heavy and weighing him down. "Biologically, yes. In any other capacity I prefer to think not." He was his father all right, but never had Severus considered him a dad.

"Erm...perhaps we could talk about something else?" Lily interjected when her own dad had opened his mouth to say more. Severus could have fallen to his knees and thanked her if it hadn't been for the surrounding others.

"Well, all right then." Bernard began, seeming a bit flustered. The curiosity on his face was apparent, and Severus supposed it was he who had passed such a thing onto Lily. Always asking too many questions, insisting to know more. Usually, however, such a thing didn't pertain to his personal life. "What is it you like to do?"

Severus' fork clanged against the ceramic of his plate. What did he like to do? Every passion, every fire that had been lit beneath him had been extinguished in that moment, drifting from his mind in flurries of smoke. In that moment, he wasn't sure he would have remembered his name if he'd been asked.

"Well…" Lily began slowly, watching him, expecting him to interrupt and tell them all himself. "...he's brilliant at potions. A bit too interested, mind." The corners of her lips twitched, a shared joke just between them. "And reading, always has his nose in a book. Interested as he was, he's dastardly at quidditch though."

This, of all things, he remembered. The rush of wind as he plummeted from his broom, thankful he still only hovered a few feet above the ground, the thump of compacted dirt as he connected with it. The deep purple bruise that had formed on his bottom afterwards. Thank Merlin Lily hadn't witnessed that particular part of the experience. No, no, she'd been too busy laughing to even question if he was okay. It was fair enough, the thought made him smile now that the bruise had healed and the ever-present pain in his left butt cheek had long ago disappeared.

"Quidditch." He scoffed, the first note of laughter present on his exhale. "I couldn't even ride a broom."

His eyes flitted around the table, capturing the happy faces that smiled back at him, three of four wasn't bad. The fourth, belonging to Petunia, had soured and she picked at her food in distaste. Severus glanced pointedly at Lily for only a moment before looking back to his own plate. "I didn't do much, before Hogwarts, I mean. Gardened a bit, I guess, with Mum."

The words seemed to resonate with Lily, a laugh quite literally spewing from her and nearly her food as well. "Mum tried." She explained. "Tripped and spilled our carrot seeds across the back garden. The ground was so hard, unprepared, that they only grew an inch." She snorted with laughter, covering her mouth quickly. "Then there was the tomato plant that just wilted entirely. What did we get, Tuney? Three tomatoes out of it?"

"Two." The hard pressed line that was her mouth curved into a hint of a smile. "And they tasted awful."

"Well." Marjorie laid her napkin across the table with a pinched look and exaggerated anger. "Since the two of you find it so funny I think you can do the dishes."

There was a groan. Lily and Petunia's voices harmonizing in annoyance.

There was a scraping of chairs, a clatter as dishes were gathered, and complaints whispered beneath breaths. A collective song that Severus had never heard before. He sat back for a moment more, basking in the shared love that was far warmer than any fire.

Lily approached him, her voice a gentle hum of melody, a sound she saved only for him. "You don't have to eat it all, you know." She glanced towards his plate, of which he'd only cleared half of what he'd been given.

"Oh, thank Merlin." He breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back in his chair. "I couldn't possibly eat another bite."

She took it out from in front of him, her voice teasing as she did so. "I guess you aren't interested in minced pie, then."

He groaned outwardly, throwing his head back in exaggeration. "Why do you hate me so?"

"That's all right." She scrunched her nose, stepping away from him. "It's not quite time anyway."

Severus stood, following her, taking his dish from her hands and scraping the remainder into the bin before sliding the dish beneath the previously prepared, soapy water. He slipped his arms from the much-too-large suit coat, rolling his sleeves up his arms before plunking his hands beneath the just too-hot water.

"I can do it." He insisted, a pointed stare at both sisters.

A muttered "fine" came from Petunia as she dropped the towel she had been clutching on the counter. She stalked from the room without so much as a thank you.

"Don't mind her." Lily insisted when they were alone, wringing the discarded cloth through her own fingers. "She's just mad her boyfriend couldn't come." Her nose hitched upwards in disgust and she gave a roll of her eyes. "He's an arse anyway. Don't know what she sees in him."

"As delightful as that sounds, I don't think that's the entire reasoning for her mood. I am intruding." He placed a freshly cleaned plate in front of her.

She picked it up, running the cotton towel along the suds and not saying a word. When it was nearly as polished as silver and he was sure he could see his reflection in it, she spoke. It was a mumble, the words shoved together with little pauses in-between. The words swelled with embarrassment. "I don't mind you here."

"I'm bloody glad to hear that considering the interrogation I just underwent. I was under the impression that I was here as some freak show exhibit."

"They wouldn't take you, too unusual." Lily smirked, pushing playfully against his arm.

He returned it, not bothering to dry his hands. She gave a shriek of surprise before clapping her hand over her mouth to stifle the remainder. They heard the conversation beyond dwindle for just a moment in response.

They continued in silence. He rubbed a rag along the dishes, cleansing them of food and spittle, his mind turning all the while, before he laid them in front of her to dry.

Minutes ticked by, heavy with the unsaid words between them. Words he couldn't bear to leave unsaid any longer. Severus picked up a glass to distract himself, shoving his rag inside it.

"Lils…" He sighed. Why did her name feel so funny in his mouth all of a sudden? Why did the words he wanted to say seem so jagged around the edges? Why was he so afraid of them cutting him?

"Sev." She prodded him onwards before sliding the cup from his fingers, forcing him to look at her.

He looked first beyond her shoulder, accounting for the members of her family, making sure they were in place and not about to disturb them. This hadn't been his plan. Not here, not today, certainly not with half eaten food between them.

He found her eyes next. As green as the pine that lay in the room over, green as holly leaves and mistletoe, and her hair as red as the berries of each. She was the embodiment of Christmas wrapped up in a pretty bow, a present he had wanted for so long, but had always been denied.

"I...I like you."

Lily stared, the movements of her hands coming to a halt. What was it that passed? One breath? Two? Had he grown a year in the time he waited for an answer? He saw something out of the corner of his eye. A grey hair? It wasn't out of the realm of possibility, he aged a little more the longer she took.

"Sev." She began finally, her voice not something he had heard before. She laid a hand against the exposed skin of his arm. It was so warm that he felt frigid beneath it. Frozen in anticipation. "I like you too. I thought you knew that."

"No." He shook his head vehemently. He would get his point across. He would not tamp down these feelings any longer, not when she stood beside him with questioning eyes. "I don't mean as a friend. Merlin, you're a great friend, but—"

"Sev." There was his name again, this time with a laugh. "I know what you meant. I feel the same."

The same. No, she couldn't. Him?

He shook his head again. "I must be in a food coma, that's it. You're talking to me from the beyond. There's no other—"

"Oh, shut up already." Standing on her tiptoes, Lily leaned towards him, closing the distance between them and demolishing any hesitation he might have had.

He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought of this moment, dreamed of it even. That there were nights when her beauty led him from consciousness and woke him again in the morning. Love. Is that what they called it? Then he had certainly fallen into its depths.

She was all he had expected and more. So warm against him despite the goosebumps that dotted her exposed arms. Enveloped in the scent, the taste of dinner that they had shared. His arm found its way around her, his wet hand pressing into the fabric of her dress, surely soaking through.

He wanted to hold her there, a flower in his arms, the softness of her petals against his skin. His lips. When she finally broke away, she took all the air in his lungs with her. He inhaled before running his tongue along the skin of his lips, tasting her again.

Severus dragged a hand across them, wiping away any lipstick she had left behind. He looked into her eyes, finding his delight reflected there. "That was…" Unexpected. Mildly inappropriate. Better than he had ever asked for. There wasn't nothing good enough to fill in the dotted hesitation. Nothing that could describe just how great it had been and how badly he wanted more.

Lily nodded, seeming to understand. To agree. "That was."

He drifted from the clouds above that had encircled him, coming to earth once more. To the running water, his rag that had been discarded, the dishes that still needed to be washed. With another blush in his cheeks, he turned back to them. He had become a candy cane in this household, his face alternating between red and its usual white.

"When you two are done dilly-dallying, we'd like to open gifts in here!" It was Bernard, his deep voice hanging thick in the air, separating them further from one another. Drawing their attention back to the task at hand. To the two remaining plates.

They were silent, washing and drying, Lily putting everything where it belonged. Perhaps they were both trapped in their own minds, replaying what had happened. He was. Maybe Lily was simply too mortified. He couldn't blame her.

He rinsed his hands a final time beneath the faucet, rubbing his palms on his trousers. When he turned away from the counter, her hands came to his, fingers wrapping around his still damp ones. Lingering on their hold. "We do have towels. We aren't entirely uncivilized."

"Yes, well—" He cleared his throat, looking away from her. "It's a habit is all."

"Come on, then." She gave his fingers a tug, pulling him from the room, giving him only a moment to collect his previously discarded coat. "I want to see what you got me."

He groaned inwardly. It wasn't enough, he knew that. Knew that she deserved so much more. That he would never be able to give that to her. He had had to settle for something inexpensive and even then his measly pounds had hardly covered it. Wrapped clumsily in yesterday's newspaper and the trash that was his gift was complete. But, it had given him an excuse. An excuse to spend the holiday with her, and that was a gift he could never put a price on.

Her family was gathered beside the tree, Petunia's attention momentarily captured by the book in her hands, her fingers obscuring the title. Perhaps there was something about her he liked after all. "About time." She scoffed, setting it aside.

Lily rolled her eyes, her lips tightening into an expression Severus had seen far too many times, many of them aimed towards him. He knew, had their parents not been there, she would have had some unfavorable words in return.

Severus watched with a dribble of jealousy as they exchanged presents. Perfume, books, a card from some distant family member with a stack of notes inside. A tool Severus could have never named that Bernard seemed pleased with. Each was given with a burden of love, anticipation as the recipient tore into the wrappings. There was a flicker of wonder inside him, a curiosity at what a holiday season filled with such feelings must be like. He stamped it away before it could grow into a larger flame.

"Sev." Lily held a package out towards him, one that must have been buried beneath the branches for he hadn't seen it. It was soft, moldable, much like the one he had brought for her. "Go on." She urged, anxious for him to open it.

He slid his finger beneath a corner of tape, pulling at it carefully until the end had opened.

"Oh, just tear into it!" She insisted, her fingers twitching as though she wanted to help him.

Severus went impossibly slower, one corner of his lips lifted as he pulled the tape up and off the paper piece by piece. Gradually, it came apart, revealing a mass of black inside. The cloth was folded neatly, soft beneath the dry skin of his fingers. He lifted it, sleeves and trouser legs falling from where they had been tucked and revealing exquisitely tailored clothing.

"They're robes." He said in astonishment, wondering how much she had spent. The fabric alone that they'd been made with must have cost a fortune. "Lily…" Thank you, that's what those words were, right? What someone said when they were grateful? Given the instance, they shouldn't have been so hard to say.

"I know." She smiled back, and he was nearly more grateful for her understanding than what she had given him. Thank Merlin she could read his mind. Some of his thoughts — hell, most of them — were too jumbled to come across his tongue. How he could have hugged her, kissed her if they had been alone.

He folded them — not nearly as nicely as she had — and set them aside. The only thing left beneath the tree was the present he had brought. He wished then that he had brought an excuse instead. That he had forgotten it at home, or perhaps it wasn't finished. Anything was better than the fact that it was now in her hands.

Lily ripped the newspaper into shreds, the same care that he had used less than a thought in her mind. She picked up the gloves first, pure white, with golden trim along the bottom. I shouldn't have picked white. He kicked himself. They'll get dirty much faster, if she even wears them.

As if to prove him wrong, she slid her hands inside, rubbing her fingers together. "I love them." She beamed as she picked up the final piece. A scarf that matched. She wrapped it around her neck before leaning towards him, seeming to forget her family watching them. Her arms around him, she squeezed. Whispered a "thank you" in his ear. He returned it awkwardly, one hand coming loosely to her shoulders.

When they separated, he muttered the words that he had dreaded all night. "I should probably get home."

She nodded, the smile she'd had falling from her lips.

He pushed himself up from the floor on which he had been seated, unwilling to leave the cozy fire, the lit Christmas tree. Her.

"Thank you." He forced, prickles and all. "For dinner, for all of it really." And he was, truly grateful. He had spent the past six Christmases locked inside Hogwarts, have nothing to return home to. The two of them had spent the last six of them apart, Lily returning home each time. It was this year, their final one, that she begged him to come with. He had resisted, appalled by the idea, but now, as he stood inside the Evans' home, he was happy he had done so.

"You're welcome anytime, Severus." Marjorie insisted, Bernard nodding along in agreement. Petunia rolled her eyes. He hoped he was there for the day they got stuck in that position entirely.

He hugged the gift he had been given to his chest, anxious to try them on. The majority of his clothes had been hand me downs, even his school robes. And they'd been feminine. The few things that had been his and his alone could never compare to these.

He stepped towards the landing where his boots had dried long ago, Lily close behind him. She pushed him towards the door, out of sight from the rest of the house. "Meet me upstairs?" She asked in a tone he could barely hear, her forehead puckered in hope, perhaps fear that he would turn her down. "In an hour."

How he could ever deny that request he wasn't sure. He nodded, the largest smile of the night forming on his lips.


	2. Winter Warmth

An hour. Had it been summer, the time wouldn't have been an issue. But, now, he stood outside, freezing his arse off for _an hour._ Severus' eyes fell to his watch every few minutes, hoping against rationality that an hour had passed. It had yet to.

He had walked away from the house, out of sight should any of them glance outside a window or dare to step into the frigid weather. So, he sat. Beneath a snow-covered tree along the edge of the park that separated them, separated the "good" from "bad". His breath puffed outward in the night, the steam rising in the cold air. It was likely the warmest part of him, despite the charm he had cast on himself to stave the cold off just a little longer. To keep it from seeping into his bones.

There was the flick of a light. Off. On. Off. On. Their signal. Although this had been his first evening inside the main part of their home, it wouldn't be the first time that he was in her bedroom. Nothing sinister had happened there — his hand never wandering beneath her clothes — but, Severus doubted he would have been welcomed beyond the front door if the family had known he was there at all.

With a cursory glance around his surroundings, he stood, stepping towards the house once more. His boots fell heavily in the rising snow, his trail toward her window might as well have been displayed with a flashing sign, the blare of a horn alerting everyone to his presence.

Never had he been so grateful to be seventeen. The quick casting of a spell, and his tracks were erased, flakes of snow billowing to cover them once more. Careful and ever so quiet, he stepped onto the bonnet of the car that had been parked in the driveway every night for the past eight years. Next came the roof, along with a concern it may no longer support him. He hadn't done this in some time, and had grown since.

It was a well practiced routine, his fingers gripping the edge of the covered porch, pulling himself upward and on top of it, treading as quietly across it as he could. He was at her window at last, the glass having already slid open to allow him inside.

Severus gave a puff of exertion, a hungry inhale as he drew the warm, fresh air into his lungs. With the gift she had given him placed to the side, he tore his boots from his feet, kicking them out of the way. And she was there, putting herself in his arms "Lily…" Her name was whispered with desire.

She kissed him again, more hungry than she had only hours before.

" _Lily."_ Her name was mumbled against her lips, more fervently than before. The unwelcome guest he'd been concerned of earlier beginning to make its appearance, pressing into her.

"I like what you gave me, _I did."_ She insisted in hushed tones, though her smile was coy. "But, I was hoping for something _else."_ She fiddled with the tie around his neck, her need clear.

They'd waited long enough, hadn't they? His attraction had been there, rooted inside his heart and flowering more and more with each year that had passed. It was only now that it had burst from him, the roots wrapping around her and dragging her down alongside him. He pulled back from their rushed kisses, disappointed as he was, to whisper one more thing. "Are you sure?"

" _Sure?_ Sev, I've been waiting forever for you to wise up and tell me how you feel. I'm positive."

He smirked. Maybe he had been more obvious about his feelings than he had realized.

He let her continue, watched as she pulled the tie from its knot, widening the noose that had been pulled tight around his neck, and slipping it over his head. It was thrown to the floor to be forgotten, his oversized suit coat falling beside it. "Stop." He insisted suddenly, and her fingers froze on his skin.

He pulled his wand from his trouser pocket, aiming the tip of it towards the door. He couldn't guarantee that they'd be quiet — not enough — and he wasn't about to be caught — quite literally — with his pants around his ankles. The lock clicked, impervious now to even a key "Continue." He begged, his own hands coming to the back of her dress, the zipper that ran along it.

He fumbled for it, distracted by the taste of her, the feel of her against him. He wanted her to be free of the clothing, wanted to admire what lay beneath. Grasping the slider, he pulled it down, the cloth loosening around her. He found the bra beneath it next, his finger pausing along the clasps. Severus nearly laughed at himself, at how his brilliant mind — should he be overly prideful — was baffled by a muggle contraption.

"Here." She giggled in near silence, reaching her hands behind her back and guiding him. "Pinch." She instructed, and he did as he was told. With his hands beneath hers, she pushed them inward, allowing the clasps to slide from their hold and the band to come undone. Lily stood in his arms, her clothing no longer held to her frame, but still covering her — though he wished that it didn't. It was like opening the Christmas gift he had wanted for so long. All he wanted to do was tear through the wrappings and see what was beneath..

Her fingers came to the buttons of his shirt, sliding each from their hole before moving down to the next. He watched her, his hesitation growing with each until the crisp white shirt was fully open, displaying the ratty T-shirt he had worn beneath it.

"You wanted this to take as long as possible, didn't you?"

Yes, because how Lily undressed him was all his mind had lingered on when he had chosen to be so entirely _overdressed_. "I tried." He spoke the words softly into the nape of her neck, kissing where the words lay against her.

Severus felt her pull the dress shirt from his arms, adding it to the growing puddle that swam around their feet. She edged the hem of his T-shirt upward. His hand fell instinctively to hers, age old insecurities forming around him. She paused, searching his eyes in curiosity. He merely swallowed, allowing her to continue, and she did.

Up the shirt went, past his scrawny frame, the ribs that jutted from beneath his skin, the scars the decorated his flesh, each with a story he didn't want to tell. Lily said nothing, though he knew she saw them. She didn't ask, perhaps she didn't have to.

He had been quiet about what went on at home, but that didn't mean she was an idiot, incapable of stringing a theory together. A theory, that was more than likely accurate.

When it was up, over his head, he shivered. A fact unrelated to the cold winter air. Lily pressed her hands to his sides, kissing him again. Their mouths moved, discovering one another, his tongue drawing against hers.

Her fingers drifted lower, dragging themselves along his hips, through the slight trail of hair just beneath his navel. To the buckle of his belt. She slid the leather strap from it, his bagging trousers falling to the floor. He was left standing there in nothing but dingy pants. Stretched and off white from overuse.

Lily admired him in the shadows of her room. Only the snow reflected against a cloudy sky providing them light. She smiled despite the sight of him and he felt a desire to cover himself.

She then slid her arms from her dress, the straps beneath, allowing it and her bra to fall to the floor amongst his clothing. Severus stared. Perhaps he shouldn't. But, he seemed unable to stop, feeling himself grow impossibly harder.

His eyes trailed along her, the curves of her breasts, her waist spreading outwards into hips. All things he had noticed long ago above the hindrance of clothing. But, now, it was different. Better than he admittedly pictured. His tongue fumbled inside his mouth, searching for a word that could accurately describe how he felt about her. Did such a thing exist? Why were words so difficult?

She bit her lip, rubbing her hand along her other arm and he knew he had to say _something._ "You're...you're bloody beautiful." He stumbled, pulling her against him. Needing her flesh to touch his. Her breasts were warm, the tips of her nipples hard as they pressed against his own bare chest. He wondered if she was wet, as turned on as he.

His hand wandered downward, deciding to test just that. They teased at the hem of her underwear, asking without words if he could slide inside. When she said nothing, his fingers did. They slid across her pelvis, to the meeting of her thighs, and between. "Is this...okay?" The tip of his index finger explored her, and although he wasn't sure what exactly he was touching, it was indeed wet.

"Yeah." She assured him with a smile. "It is. It very much is."

"Are you ready?" _Oh, yes, Severus._ He scoffed at himself. _Such a sexy question._ But, she nodded, saying nothing about the fact.

Removing his hand from her, he stepped from his pants, the last thing that kept him hidden. He was standing in front of her with all he had to offer. Stark naked. She didn't turn him away. Didn't tell him he wasn't enough or ask him to leave. She wanted him. _Him._

He found himself moving backwards, her hand pressed to his chest, edging him towards her bed and the fluffy pillows it was covered in. He fell back on the mattress and she hesitated a moment more, removing her last bit of clothing in front of him.

Then she was next to him, the warmth of their bodies pressed against one another, melting the frostiness that had threatened to grow over his heart the last few years.

Lily's fingers touched the side of his face, the tips of them lingering on his skin, brushing back an escaped black hair. "I should have told you how I felt a long time ago." Her voice was soft, not for fear of being heard, though such a threat was real. It was merely what the situation demanded. The meaning of her words having changed if she said them any differently.

"I wouldn't say that quite yet. I may leave you... unsatisfied."

She shook her head as if she refused to believe it. "No, Sev. It's not about the sex-"

He shut her up with another kiss. He simply couldn't get enough of them. Enough of her. "No, I know."

With his arm slung over her waist, he met her eyes, wondering just what she expected from him. "Have you done this before?"

"No." It was said without hesitation, but not offered too quickly for him to disbelieve it. Not that she had ever lied to him. He wished he could say the same.

"Neither have I." _That_ was the truth.

Severus lifted himself, hovering over her body. His hand went between her legs again, running his finger in circles against her. "There?" His eyebrows came together. This was a different type of magic. One he knew nothing about.

She grabbed his wrist, adjusting the placement of his hand, showing him where she would receive the most pleasure. He obeyed. Eager to please her. "Better." She nodded her assent, the muscles in her legs tightening around his hand for only a moment. It was then that she reached out, her hand coming to his dick.

Every function of his body stopped for the slightest of seconds and then she began to move, her fingers stroking up and down. He clenched his teeth, keeping any sound from escaping him for fear that something else might as well.

"Stop, _stop_." He pleaded. He didn't want a handjob to send him over the edge when she was offering so much more.

She did as he asked, her arm going limp. He pressed his fingers harder against her, flirting with the opening between her legs.

"Just...go slow, okay?" There was a nervousness in her voice that he hadn't expected. A fear that he would hurt her, though he would always do his best not to.

"Talk to me, let me know if it's okay." He assured her, laying down beside her. He propped an arm beneath his head, the other lying across her hip bone, his hand never having left her. His finger slipped inside. She moved beneath his touch, and he paused.

"No, no, it's fine. Just...new."

He pressed deeper, working his finger in circles, curling it inside of her. When her body seemed to relax, he tried for a second, sliding it in amongst the first. There it was again, the hesitation filling her muscles, this timed coupled with a sharp inhale and he nearly retreated.

"We don't have to do this. We can just lay here, you can send me home." He hoped she wouldn't pick the latter. He just wanted to stay beside her. It didn't matter if clothing interfered, as long as they were there together.

"I want to." She insisted, smiling so as to convince him. Severus felt her shift beneath him as she reached out, her fingers combing through his hair, scratching at his scalp. He relaxed, his head coming to rest on her stomach.

He listened to her breaths as he fingered her, the gentle inhale and exhale, the filling of her lungs, the quiet beat of her heart. He could never forget it. They laid that way for some time, the seconds ticking by. She was utterly, completely silent, her hand having eventually stilled and part of him wondered if she had fallen asleep. The two words that fell from her lips dispelled that idea. "Let's try"

He shifted against her, sitting up. "I need my wand." He wasn't even sure where it had been dropped during their exploration of one another. Usually he kept it beside him, always in sight, always in reach. For fear of...there were too many possibilities and he wouldn't be caught without it, not when it was his only defense. He squinted, searching for the bit of wood, finding it on the carpet, nearly beneath the bed. He stretched away from her, his fingers just scraping against it. He reached just a little further. If only his arms were an inch longer, he could clutch it. Instead, he tumbled, his balance lost.

Severus landed with a muffled thud on the floor and he hoped the silencing spell had prevented that from being heard too, had penetrated the floor beneath them. They both froze, the thought having entered each of their minds. Their ears were strained for any sign that someone might be coming. Sure enough, moments later, there were footsteps.

"What the hell was that?" It was Bernard, an edge in his voice that Severus hadn't heard before. An edge that was all too familiar. He felt a rush of adrenaline in his veins, a preparation to run and it had little to do with the fact that Bernard would kill him if he found out Severus was in here. _Naked._

"Nothing!" Lily said a bit too eagerly, her voice strained. She cleared her throat, attempting to return it to normal. "I...fell out of bed, that's all." It wasn't entirely a lie, other than the fact it had been _him_ not her.

All they heard was her name said in exasperated tones, the kind that would have had a shake of the head along with it, and then the sound of him faded and they were alone once more.

"That was close." He muttered under his breath, A spell erupted from his wand, a near invisible shield falling around them, holding any more noise they would make inside its walls. Allowing their voices to return to their normal level for the first time since he slung his legs over her windowsill. He clutched the wand tightly in his hand, its original intent surging again. Other than propping herself onto her elbows, she hadn't moved.

In the fear of being discovered — possibly _murdered_ — his erection had dimmed. He stood and she stared at the form of him, the change obvious to her. "Come here." Lily purred, and he did as he was told. She grabbed hold of him, her grip tighter than it had been before, She tugged on him, pulling his diminishing desire back to the forefront of his mind. He leaned forward. The palms of his hands pushing into the mattress. He let go an exhale that was burgeoned with a moan and she released her grip.

With a final preparation, he pointed his wand on himself, muttering a charm of protection before his wand fell to the bed again. There was no need for condoms when magic gave them so much more.

Lily pulled on his arms and he obeyed, climbing back onto the bed, hanging over her naked body. His eyes followed her curves again, still not quite believing that he was here, now, with her. He kissed her, his lips trailing from hers and across her cheek, to the spot on the side of her neck that caused her to shiver. He dragged his tongue across it and she trembled beneath him.

Severus eased himself inside her, going as slow as he possibly could. She gave a gasp beneath him, her grip on the sheets tightening, bunching the fabric beneath her nails as he pushed further. When the length of him was inside her he paused a final time, eyes glued to her clenched teeth. "It's okay. It's fine, I'm fine." He wondered who she was trying to convince, him or her.

Gradually he started moving, rocking his hips, building in speed. In. Out. He waited for an objection that didn't come, that was formed instead in the shape of her breath, tense, but not begging him to stop.

He dropped down, from the palms of his hands to his elbows, his body brushing ever so gently across hers, his chest pressing into her breasts, rubbing against her nipples with every movement that he made.

Lily's hands came to his moving sides, wandering to the back of him and squeezing what little arse he had. He smirked at the touch.

He felt her give way beneath him, the tension evaporating, the gasps that had been hinted around the edges with pain now swelled to form the first letters of his name, breathy and begging for more. " _Sev…"_

He gave it, never dreaming of denying anything she asked, let alone this. Her voice grow into the beginnings of a pleasured moan and he was thankful for the bubble of silence they were trapped inside, keeping this moment only for themselves. A moment that would have been stilted by a need to keep silent.

He felt the tendrils of an orgasm begin inside him, wrapping around his spine, shooting down his legs. He turned his thoughts away, just for a moment, any way to make this last as long as he could. He slowed, willing it away just for a moment more. Until she too reached the edge.

" _Sev...Sev, SEV."_ His name was uttered in desperate tones, growing more fervent, a begging for more and she was trembling, cascading over the edge and he alongside her. An orgasm crashed over both of them, drowning out everything else. In that moment, life was perfect and he couldn't have asked for more.

His body went slack against hers and he rolled away, laying beside her. She stared up at the ceiling as if stars had been painted across it, splattered amongst the asbestos for just this occasion. She turned then towards him, the glint in her eye shining back at him, showing itself in the crookedness of her smile.

She shifted her body, allowing herself to cuddle beneath the sheets, and he followed, burying himself beneath down and something soft he didn't know the name of. He could have slept here. The heat of her body radiating against him, the nest they had created, the exertion of a moment ago. He felt his eyelids grow heavy and he fought to keep them open, focused instead on Lily.

"Was that all right? Not too painful?"

She shifted her head on the pillow, shaking it in response. "Not too painful." She repeated with a distant grin, the night replaying across her vision. "And spectacular."

They folded into one another, coming so closely together he could no longer tell where he ended and she began, nor did he want to.

"That roast was for me, wasn't it?" He asked the question he had wondered long ago, that had been answered by the burning of her cheeks. It wasn't the usual Christmas dinner for most, and it seemed that included her family as well.

"I did. And the mince pie we forgot about entirely." She said it without blushing this time. He supposed they had laid themselves bare tonight — both figuratively and literally — and there was no longer a need to be embarrassed.

"It was delicious by the way. Better than that at Hogwarts." There was a breath of a pause. "Be sure not to tell the house elves I said so. I wouldn't want to disappoint them."

"You enjoyed it? Really?" The curiosity in her voice was evident, and though he spoke the truth, the way she spoke ensured it was the answer he would give even if it was a lie.

He pressed closer to her, if that was even possible the way they were tangled. His lips were millimeters from her as he spoke "Absolutely bloody really."

Her lips were on him again, tasteless now, but heavenly all the same. She gave a sigh of content when she parted, her voice still dropped below a whisper. "Happy Christmas, Sev."


	3. Winter Love

Severus trembled. His surroundings were thick with warmth that made him want to stay forever.. Surely this must be heaven. With the touch of skin beside him, skin of the person he loved so dearly, so completely and the air between them heavy with attraction, he couldn't possibly be anywhere else.

" _Severus"._ His name was hissed in a tooth-achingly sweet voice that urged him on. The desire, pleading of the night before burned away to be replaced with tones of desperation. " _Sev!"_ Again. Insistent, but hers. He groaned in response, shifting in his cocoon. He vaguely realized the puddle of drool beneath him, pressing into his cheek.

He squeezed his eyelids only for a moment, wiping away the tendrils of sleep in which he had been snared and blinking them open into the harsh morning light. _Morning._ The bleariness that invaded his eyesight slipped from his mind, his thoughts clear.

" _Shit."_ He muttered, throwing the covers from his body, releasing himself from the nest that had so quickly become a prison. He had come here for sex, for more than lust, and had quiet literally slept with her. Severus climbed passed her body, his feet giving a muted thump when they reached the floor.

"It's still early enough." Lily reasoned, glancing at the bedside clock that read just after six in the morning. Early enough. Enough to slip from her room and back into his own. Not like his absence from his own home had been noticed.

"Right." He nodded, unsure who he was trying to convince more, her or him. He bent, picking up his pants from where they had been discarded the night before and slipping them on. He dressed in a hurry, half surprised that his fingers still knew the way, that they were capable of gripping the clothing hard enough beneath the shaking of his hands. "Your dad, does he work today?"

Lily rolled her eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and perhaps it would have been if his own father had given him any knowledge to work with. "He works at the mill, Sev. Boxing day isn't an important enough reason for him to stay home."

So, not only was he hoping to make his escape from the house in and of itself, but he had to beat Bernard as well. "When does he leave?"

She gave a shrug of her shoulders, an answer that only served to intensify his fear. He had hoped for the permanence of time, an exact number he had to leave before. Instead, she said "seven, half past maybe?"

"Helpful, Lils, truly." His response came out tinged with agitation, one he could only blame himself for. She had simply been too inviting, too loving, too _hard_ to leave, and so he hadn't. He had let sleep invade him, and although he hadn't been willing, he hadn't tried hard enough to push it away.

Now, he stood in the morning rays of light pouring through the glass of the window with a half buttoned shirt and trousers that were only half belted around his waist. He was sure he had missed a few loops, but now wasn't the time for precision.

Severus did the final buttons, the stiff white shirt tight against his throat. Next went the coat, now wrinkled from the night it had spent carelessly rumpled on the carpet. He stuffed a sock in each pocket, not bothering with such flivorousness. This outfit already had too many pieces that took far too much time. It was the same reasoning that he bent, shoving his feet inside his boots without undoing the laces.

He stood back up with a huff, running an anxious hand through his hair, causing it to lift away from his face before falling there once more. Lily grabbed him by the lapels, halting his movements, bringing him back to the present, with her.

He had to look, to gaze into her eyes which so gleefully met his own. "Thank you for coming, _for staying_."

"So-" He began, interruping his own words with a kiss "You'll be an accomplise when they charge your father for murder."

Lily bit her bottom lip, batting her eyelashes up at him. What he would now and forever consider her attempt at innocence. He could have taken her again there and then if he wasn't so bloody pressed for time. He settled for the taste of her, the touch of her tongue on his, even if their morning breath mingled between.

"We'll do it again, soon. Preferably at Hogwarts," If she had asked if he was trying to convince her or his growing erection that she was no doubt aware of, he couldn't have told her.

They heard a thud beyond the door, the beginnings of life inside the home and the fire beneath him to _move_ was rekindled. He could no longer be here. Lily replaced herself in his arms with the clothes she had given him the night before.

Severus leaned in for a final kiss knowing that being separated even for a night was now much too long. What he wouldn't give to spend the rest of their years in her arms. She lingered against him, holding him just light enough to make it hard for him to pull away. His sentiments were shared, he could feel it in the shape of her lips, could see it in her closed eyelids and the tension in her shoulders. They'd spent so much time being apart, that now, when they were together, they didn't want it to change.

"I have to go." He murmured the words against her and she gave a gentle nod of her head, a whispered agreement.

She lifted her wand from the small table beside her bed, shattering the charms that had been placed there the night before. Their safety of silence, the lock of the door dissipating as if it had never been there at all.

Severus forced the package into one of his too small pockets. The fabric jutted outwards, unable to fit in the small space, but it stayed. It was enough for him to climb to the ground below with both hands free. He slid open the window. The billowing winter wind bit at his skin, willing him to stay just a little longer. Instead, he sat across the windowsill, throwing one leg over it and then the next.

The heels of his boots slid against the frost that covered the roof, that hadn't been there the night before. He shifted on the precarious slope, knowing how easily he could fall to the ground below and split his skull across the pavement. What an anticlimactic, disappointing ending to the night they had shared. An ending he had no desire to make.

He crouched low, spreading his bodyweight out across the shingles, edging ever closer to the rain gutter. He knew she watched him all the while. She always did. Always lingered by the glass, making sure he didn't kill himself on the way down - an event that was much more likely this morning.

Reaching out, his fingers wrapped themselves around the piping of the gutter as they had so many times before. He pleaded they would hold with his new, nearly adult weight. It had been so much different climbing here when he was twelve, fourteen, but now, his eighteenth birthday loomed around the corner.

How tall was he now? Past 182 centimeters, he was sure. There was only a meter or so below him - less than before - and what he hoped was a soft landing in fresh snow. With an exhale full of unlikely expectations and perhaps a bit of prayer, he dropped downwards, his body hanging fully from the gutter.

There was no doubting the ice beneath his fingers, and before he could prepare for his landing, he felt his hands slip against it, his grip failing him. With nothing to cling to but his own fears, he fell, colliding with the ground.

The snow was soft, fluffy beneath him as he had expected. The pavement that it had hidden, however, was not. He let out a sound of pain - what he had estimated to be a hiss. The estimation was proven incorrect when the front door of the home flew open a minute later.

 _Please be Lily. Please be Lily._ He pleaded with no one in particular, gripping his ankle. He was positive the angle it was bent at was unnatural. Indeed, it was red hair that came through the door, but unless Lily had grown a beard and turned into a man in Severus' absence, it wasn't her. He groaned, a reaction that had nothing to do with his ankle.

Bernard stared, perhaps wondering if he what he was seeing was real. He rubbed at his eyes and Severus wished he could have escaped, could have hobbled away and left nothing except a butt Bernard's eyes were opened again.

He shrunk into himself, wishing himself to disappear in the white rather than the black of him to stand out in such stark contrast against it. He waited. Waited for the yell of his name that had been drawn in poison, waited for Bernard to storm towards him - robe and slippers be damned.

The ferocity emerged, the man's face growing a violent shade of red, but it wasn't the shape of Severus' name that came from his lips. " _Lily Laurel Evans. Get your_ arse _down here!"_ His words echoed off their surroundings, resonated off every brick of the houses around them until he had likely woken the entire neighborhood.

Three people followed through the door behind him. Marjorie - who surely Severus could no longer call Margie -, Petunia, and _Lily_ , her face shadowed with guilt. She had dressed quickly. But, it was likely the reasoning she had appeared last. Petunia, beside her, looked smug. Her face had twisted into a smirk, her arms folded triumphantly across her chest. Their mother between them looked simply confused, refusing to believe the reasoning for why Severus was _still_ sprawled across the ice covered walkway, the snow melting beneath the heat of him and soaking through his trousers, _his pants._

Bernard gestured to him with an open hand, pointing at Severus as though he was some unusual zoo animal. "Would you care to explain?" The words forced themselves through the spaces of his gritted teeth, his voice soft, but the words sharp as blades.

"He was coming to visit, that's all." Lily raised her eyebrows at Severus, begging him to cooperate with the lie. He nodded robotically, his words having been thrown from his body with his fall. That must be it, because he certainly couldn't find them.

"Really?" Bernard frowned, his lips downturned in a patronizing fashion. "He didn't bother to change first? Are those the _only_ clothes he owns?"

Severus nearly interrupted, that fact being dangerously close to the truth, but he kept his yap shut, letting Lily control the situation. Maybe she would have, if Bernard hadn't spoke again.

"And what is this? I could have _sworn_ he wore a tie yesterday and that his shirt was buttoned properly."

Severus paled. How could he have forgotten? Where had the tie even gone? As if his question had been voiced, Bernard turned, heading inwards. Lily didn't follow him. They both knew it was hopeless. Instead, she walked towards Severus, not minding the bareness of her feet.

"You're hurt." She whispered when she was just within reach. She bent, her arm slipping around him, unlike how it had the night before.

"It's a better alternative than my imminent death." He hissed back. She pulled, helping him upwards and he let her. He forced himself to look at her, at her green eyes which must have been cut from emeralds, as cliche as it sounded. It was better than the alternative, the worried face of Marjorie peering around the block, looking for any sign of a listening neighbor.

"Yours and mine both." Lily sighed as they took a feeble step together, his more of a hobble. "Let's hope we get grave plots next to each other." She smiled weakly, forcing humor into an absolutely humorless situation.

And there was Bernard, exiting onto the porch once more, Severus' forgotten tie dangling from inside Bernard's fist. "If he was 'just visiting' as you claim, _how_ did his tie make it inside your bedroom?"

Lily said nothing, not that Severus could blame her. What was there to say? There was no other excuse either of them could make, but it seemed neither wanted to be upfront about what had actually happened the night before. Her parents could fill in the pieces, form a close enough picture without having to be told.

They could wipe her parents minds, sure. He spent a second too long considering the option, but he couldn't imagine neither she nor the Ministry would be happy about it, and he _certainly_ didn't want a trial in front of the Wizengamot all because they hadn't been able to control their passion for one another.

"You think after this I'm going to let _him_ into my house?" The poison of his words surged forth more aggressive than before.

Severus nearly turned, nearly forced himself from Lily's grip. He could levitate himself home, deal with the matter of his ankle later. But, Lily matched her father's tone, an anger of a different kind spilling from her lips. "He's hurt, Dad. We can't just leave him out here."

"Icing it will do him some good, and there's plenty right there." Bernard pointed to the patch Severus had just vacated. He did have a point.

" _Bern."_ It was Marjorie that spoke, her voice firm. He bent beneath her command. For some reason, Severus couldn't help but feel that the insistence in her tone, the _allowance_ of him inside their home again had little to do with the fact that he was hurt and everything with who might be watching them. Still, he wasn't one to fight with such a reasonable argument, and he would love to dry his arse.

He was helped inside by a second pair of hands, Petunia's grip digging into his arm with the threat of pain. "Smart." She sneered, her voice low so only Lily and Severus could hear her comment.

"Like you haven't done it." Lily scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "With your precious _Vernon._ " She grimaced as she said the name, the letters of it seeming to be actually painful in her mouth, coated in the bile of her stomach.

"No, but at least he was smart enough not to sneak into the house."

"With the sheer size of him I find it unlikely that he even could."

Severus stifled a laugh, covering the beginnings of it with a clearing of his throat. Petunia's hand was ripped from his arm as she stalked away in anger, Not angry enough, however, to leave them be. No, she perched in one of the armchairs, nestling in to watch the fight unfold.

Lily eased him towards the couch, stopping him just before the cushions. She too pulled away and he was left to balance on his one good leg. He felt a hot air charm blast against him, drying the wetness that had pressed the legs of his trousers to his skin and caused him to shiver. He felt the melted water drifting from him in steam and for a moment was unsure if it was caused by Lily's wand or Bernard's glare.

When she was done, she pushed lightly against his shoulder, enough to let him know he could sit, and he did. She took the space beside him, aiming the hot air charm at her frozen feet momentarily. Severus was sure Bernard's face darkened another shade of fury as he watched them.

"I don't know what the bloody hell you get up to in that school of yours, but it _will not_ be happening inside this home. Do you understand?" The last three of his words were punctuated, anger filling the crevices between them, flooding the air around them.

Lily nodded her head fervently, elbowing Severus in the side. Somehow, he found the letters inside him to agree and spoke "yes" as though he was recovering from laryngitis.

"I'd prefer it didn't happen at all, but seeing as I don't have much of a choice, you, Severus, are not allowed inside our home or with Lily _anywhere,_ for the remainder of your break."

A fate worse than death, thats what he had been served. The entire reason Severus was here at all was _because_ of Lily. She had practically dragged him kicking and screaming from Hogwarts, his only reprieve the knowledge that he would spend the holiday with her. Now he was _forbidden_ from doing just that _._ To any other person, only a week before they could be together wasn't much - the look on Bernard's face told Severus he felt just that - but for Severus, it was hell.

" _Damnit."_ Bernard swore, more to himself than anyone else. 'I have to get ready for work. Get some ice on that bloody ankle, go to the doctor, do whatever the hell you need to then _go home."_

" _Yes, sir."_ Severus insisted with all honesty. Bernard's reaction had been mild, he preferred to keep it that way. What would his obituary read otherwise?

"And Lily, we'll be speaking more about this when I get home later." He moved to step away - to storm was more like it - before pausing once more. "And get rid of that bloody hickey."

Lily sucked her lips inward, her hands rubbing at her neck, an attempt to hide the mark that had already been seen. It was the final key to her embarrassment, her cheeks flooding with color, turning from an unusually pale white to a bright red - both a result of her father.

Bernard left the four of them, his fury radiating off him in waves that muted them all. There was nothing left to be said, no apologies to be made. Severus surely wouldn't say them. He wouldn't apologize for what he had done the night before. His only regret was that he hadn't left the house more carefully and he was sure Lily's parents wouldn't appreciate _that_ apology.

They listened to the sounds of Bernard's steps grow quieter, drifting away, up the stairs. Heard the slamming of a door. For a moment more, no one spoke. The only person in the room with any shred of happiness was - of course - Petunia.

Marjorie moved towards them, sitting beside Lily on the last empty space of the couch. She clutched her daughter's hands in her own, forcing her to look at her and Lily did. When she spoke her voice was soft, not brimming with anger, but the words were hesitant, as if she was afraid of what Lily might say. "Were you...careful, at least? You used a condom, didn't you?" Her eyes darted between the two of them and Severus wished for blindness, perhaps going deaf would be beneficial as well.

"Oh, _Mum."_ Lily tore her hands away from her mother's with such a face of disgust that Severus wondered if he should be offended. "I'm not a bloody idiot, _of course_ we did."

"And the pill? Do we need to have you seen?"

" _Mum."_ She groaned again, burying her face into her hands. Severus wished to be anywhere but here, even if the questions weren't made directly to him. "It's not necessary." She insisted. "There are...magical alternatives."

"Then we'll talk to Dumbl-"

"No. _NO."_ Lily's answer was firm, leaving little room for her mum to argue back. "I can handle it myself."

"You better." Marjorie's reply was returned with equal force, taking control of the situation once more. "As angry as your Father is now, an accidental pregnancy would kill him."

Lily shook her head a final time, assuring, yet again, that it wouldn't happen.

Seeming to have no other words on the matter, Marjorie stood. "I'll just be through there." She pointed through to the kitchen. " _Where I can see you._ Get him fixed and send him home." Her eyes landed first on Lily, then on Severus, before finally settling on Petunia. "Help me get breakfast started."

Petunia opened her mouth to argue back, gaping for only a second before she pushed herself upwards with a huff. A muttered "fine".

And - miraculously - they were alone, again. He didn't dare move. Didn't try to hold her hand, didn't brush the escaped strand of red hair away, and he certainly didn't snog Lily senseless.

"Lily, peas." Marjorie's two short words interrupted the sudden movement as a bag of frozen peas was tossed towards them from the kitchen, Lily caught them, giving a quiet "thanks."

She moved, sitting on the coffee table on which Severus' foot rested, propped up as well as it could be. Lifting it carefully, she slid the boot from off it, resting it again before she rolled up his trouser leg, exposing the hairy and heavily bruised ankle that he suddenly felt mortified of. She had seen more of him, seen _more important_ things, but he still couldn't help the warmth he felt in his cheeks at that moment.

"I think it's definitely broken." Lily said, stating the obvious. The crookedness could mean little else. "I'm not really sure what I can do."

"There's a healing charm." He pointed out, also an obvious answer. There were no secrets held today.

"You want _me_ to use it?" She looked at him in shock, her eyebrows drawn together. "I've never used it before!"

Severus shrugged as if it didn't matter. "Neither have I, doesn't mean we can't try."

"And if your foot detaches itself from your body? What then?"

He couldn't help the short burst of laughter that escaped him. The idea was simply too ridiculous. Might they make the break worse? Absolutely. Might they liquify his bones? Entirely possible. Amputation? _That_ would require a severing charm. "I have no intention of visiting St. Mungos today, especially for something so simple. If you don't do it, I will."

"Alright, _alright._ " She sighed, her wand hovering above him. He watched her lips move, watched her tongue roll over them as her mind worked before her wand came down once again. "But, which one should I use?"

" _Lily._ I truly do not care. All I know is it hurts, and it isn't supposed to look like _that."_ He pointed towards the crooked angle, his other hand coming to the outside of his pocket, brushing against his wand that lay beneath it.

She glanced up, seeing the placement of his hand. "Okay, _okay._ I can do this." She readied herself again, wand lifting before she whispered " _episkey!"_ Her voice wavering.

He winced at the shifting of his bones, the crack that ran across them closing only slightly. He shook his head. "That one isn't strong enough. For broken fingers or toes it would be fine, this is a bit much."

"I know." She sighed again, and he knew that she did. Knew that she didn't want to use the other spell, the more advanced one, the one that could more easily go wrong. She spoke again, her voice stronger this time. It needed to be in order for the spell to work. " _Brackium Emendo!"_

There it was again, the shifting, the straightening, calcium pouring in and sealing the splits that weren't supposed to be there. He gasped once in pain before gritting his teeth together, his lungs freezing in his chest.

"I'm sorry!" She fussed, standing to get a closer look. "Did I mess it up?"

"No." He assured her when he could breathe again. He flexed his toes, wiggling them before her. "It's perfect."

She leaned towards him, stealing a quick kiss. It was nothing like before, no lingering touches, the warmth of her tongue not bothering to slip inside his mouth, but it was there with an equal fire. "Do you still need this?" She asked when they parted, holding the peas up where he could see them.

"I do." He reached out, taking them from her hands. With his pant leg rolled back down and over the still dark bruises, he placed it against leg.

Lily sat beside him again, her hip almost touching his. The centimeter of space between them drove him just a little bit crazier. "When you think you can walk again, you should probably go." They were words they both knew, but they carved at his heart just the same. "But, Sev." She said his name so sweetly that he had no choice but to gaze at her as she spoke again. "It was worth it, _all of it."_ Her glance up the stairs suggested that even the booming yell Severus had dreaded had been a small casualty. He agreed.

She looked away from, her eyes dropping to the space between them, staring at the beige fabric on which they sat. "Maybe it's too soon, maybe...I shouldn't say it at all…" He placed a finger beneath her chin, forcing her to look at him, his own eyes urging her to go on, to finish the sentence he was afraid of. That she didn't want to do this, didn't want to _be together._ And she did. "But, I love you.'

 _Love._ There was that nasty word again. The one his mind had rubbed against over and over, contemplating just what it meant, if he felt it. Was it so simple so as to define one thing? To coat what they had done, what all these years together had been like in _one_ word? It only took a second for him to decide that it did, that there was no other explanation for the way his heart beat inside his chest when he looked at her. And maybe it _was_ too soon. It had all happened in one night, but this feeling inside him had been blossoming for years and something told him it would only continue to.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was supposed to be a short one shot and ended instead at nearly 15,000 words (oops). Anyway, happy holidays!


End file.
